Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
