I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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