It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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