took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
