So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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