Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
