these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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