Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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