So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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