that's an acceptable place to lick
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
