Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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