Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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