I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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