He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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