I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
