PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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