Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
