i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i believe in u and ur pee
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