Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
