what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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