she woke up with a sticky ear
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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