Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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