Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
