did you get engaged???
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
