her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize