maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
