Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
