He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
