Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
