I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize