i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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