If that was your dad, he is hot
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Randomize
