I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
