What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
