i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize