I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
