Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
