This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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