winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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