I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Hippo gnu deer
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
