would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She bit a glass in half.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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