soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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