She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
