Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize