I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
