I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
