I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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