I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
