you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
