man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
