You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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