I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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