I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
