I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
