omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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