she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
