It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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