i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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