I just made out with a guy for $7.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They took my balls.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
