the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
