that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
