Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
