We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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