I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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