3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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