they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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