she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
