Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
