We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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