Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
