Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
