Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
