i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
