So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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