She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
