He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
