i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
